The Devastating Power of Complaint Mail

It seems that the only seething pain I endure in my placid, mundane existence is brought on by minute inconveniences with user interfaces. I've instigated my fair share of hate-filled vendettas, completely abused "contact us" links, and even waged a Hundred Years' War (actually two, but who's counting?) against Netflix for a while, but recently I encountered an impasse with the PS3 which triggered a thermonuclear eruption of incensed rhetoric and gratuitous amounts of spellcheck squiggles. Many squares on my keyboard were pushed and bludgeoned, and many said squares now only let out a squeaking whimper in an attempt to communicate the misery that befell them on that fateful day. What follows is my email to Sony. Reader discretion is advised.

"First, I would just like to say that whoever designed the arduous, unforgiving security parameters for the PS3's account management–which is on-par with getting into the Pentagon and comparable to being thrown into a small box of a room, waking up later with amnesia and finding that all doors are locked and you don't have the key to ANY of them–should have their job title changed to "Sadistic Customer Torturer and Agitator".
I have been a loyal Playstation customer since the PSOne. Foolishly, I bought a PS3 at launch and since has done a great job fulfilling it's one use as being a handy dust collector and gauge for how filthy my media stand had become. Only recently the slow, lethargic, leisurely trickle of decent content that has dripped out of the proverbial teat of the Playstation has motivated me to brush off that upper mantle of dust from the false monolith and activate it once again. Since the eons that have passed while my DustStation 3 sat idly, I found Jesus, took up origami, broke up with Jesus, lost 5 pounds, gained 15 pounds, finished my sophomore year of college, and got a new credit card. So, naturally I had to change that billing information to recognize the new credit card number. Then, I received my first friendly "welcome back" from my old false future gaming prophet of a friend: 'Enter your account password'. Well, I didn't have any clue what that password was and after 20 minutes of being told my guesses were invalid, I gave up. You would think that since the PS3 has a built-in eth browser that someone would have had the idea to put the helpful feature, now internet membership mainstay, of the 'Forgot Your Password?' link below so one could take care of all this on their PS3. But alas, there was no link, there was no helpful tip, there was in fact NOTHING I could do without my password. There was nothing to prove that this was in fact me, no personal questions regarding my first pet, my first love, my first PSN game I regret spending money on, even a blood test would have been welcome.
I looked at your site's troubleshooting page and the only recourse I was given was to completely erase all of my settings, which after this debacle, I don't feel comfortable doing and finding out later that other things were killed in the rebirth because your company seems to take sick pleasure in seeing users go into convulsions of anger and frustration for no particular reason. I'M TRYING TO GIVE YOU GUYS MONEY!! I'M TRYING TO BUY THINGS ON YOUR STORE!! Do you really think it should be that difficult of a process to rob us further, or is it just the insult to injury you're trying to preserve? Instead of investing time, money, effort, and laziness into finishing Home sometime in my lifetime or actually implementing a truly next-gen and noble 15% of your promised Network features, why don't you turn your gaze to simple annoyances like these that bar the customer from taking advantage of ANY money-making features you have worked so tirelessly on implementing (and usually spend even more time "refining" and "updating" because their original form was ghastly).
I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW WHAT MY PASSWORD IS without erasing my system's already troubled, plagued memory and do it sometime before the PS9 comes out. Paying for some of my Lipitor after this experience would also be nice, but I know the customer is only marginally, occasionally right to this company and a suggested troubleshoot to this stress-induced health problem would probably be to submit to a heart attack and then restart."

This digital diatribe was ignored outright by the good cybernetic organisms at Sony and a default response was issued promptly. In all fairness, the very features I was condemning them for not having are in the XMB, they're just not in the Account Management screen where one would think they would be. I still maintain that the process is a little too difficult and obscure and finding the solution on the help pages is just as difficult. If nothing else, this should serve as a testament to the blind and baseless anger we technophiles are sometimes prone to generating. God bless it and may we never truly know where it comes from.